So...don't really do blogs usually, but talking about things is sometimes supposed to help so...you get a bloggy thing.

Anyways, yesterday morning my dog Rosie passed away. She had been with us for about fifteen nears, more than half my life really. We were all there and I'm fairly sure she knew she was loved but it doesn't really make it easier. She was family, and now she is gone. Thats still a concept I'm having a difficult time with. We knew it was only a matter of time. For a mixed breed dog she'd lived a long time, but when the time came to see her go that knowledge certianly didn't help. Yesterday was...hard. I tried to disguise it I guess but even with myself being a fairly unemotional person I couldn't distance myself from it. In the end I'm kinda glad about that. I think I would have felt guilty to have stayed so aloof. I think in a way it would have been, unfair. So yeah. I was and still am upset. Though at least I'm better enough today to write about it.

This morning was worse in a way though. It really hit me that she wasn't with us anymore when i went downstairs and saw the bed where she usually slept empty, the food bowl full, the cat...confused. It hurt. I'm doing a bit better now. Though I don't pretend to be completely alright. Though I guess thats only to be expected. Losing something that has just simply been there for fifteen years is...strange. Like if i lost a limb. Its a part of the world I knew that isn't around anymore.

She was a sweetheart, even as far as dogs go I guess. We got her from the humane society when she was a baby. Another man had been going to get her, but he let us have her instead. I was only in the second grade I think. Back then she could fit in my hands, though she grew quickly of course. She never really left the realm of being our puppy though, she was too cute for that. She was a cocker spaniel - terrier, with longish blonde/white hair and floppy ears. The first time we actually took her out to play with a frisbee we realized she looked like Falcor from the neverending story when she ran. It was quite adorable actually. She was friendly, without being pushy. She wormed her way close instead of jumping up on you for example. Never really barked either, but her big brown eyes and tail spoke just fine.

I guess I'm digressing. An unfortunate habit of typing as I think. Partially why I don't do blogs. Anywho. I'm sad, and I miss her but I feel confident that letting her go was the best thing to do. Her hips were bad, her hearing and sight going. She was likely hurting pretty bad. But she never complained, still about as well behaved as we could have hoped. At the end we held her and she was still nuzzling us and staying close as she could. That moment is kinda a bittersweet memory. Anyways...she was a good dog and a wonderful friend and I'm going to miss her terribly.

Le sigh. Hopefully the sharing shall help me feel a bit better. If not I'll just have to distract myself with posting in between trainings for work. And petting the kitty. Cuz he's sad too. So yurp. Thats it for this blog entry. Excuse the rampant errors, enjoy the ice cream, and make sure to pet the kitty. Later y'all.